What Italy taught me about friendship....

I had an epiphany while I was in Italy.  It came about in a strange way, but left an impression on me.  Let me set the scene….I was chatting online with a friend one afternoon. He was upset and down about something, so I tried to help.  I became frustrated because everything I was doing to try to help make him feel better wasn’t working.  I didn’t know what to do, but I could feel his pain and I wanted nothing more than to take it away.  See, I have a bad habit.  I always try to fix things, even when they’re not mine to fix.  I want to make it all roses and lollypops. 

While I was chatting with him, I happened to be going through some pictures from my trip.  I came across one of some beautiful stone pillars-and it hit me.  A friend and a pillar are one in the same.  Let me explain.  A pillar is a symbol of strength.  It holds an enormous amount of weight all while making it look effortless.  Sometimes people use the pillars to lean against when they need a rest, sometimes they just step back and admire them, and sometimes they expect the pillars to hold the weight of an entire building without faltering.  Just like friendship.

I think that I could and should take a lesson on friendship from a pillar.  Take my friend for an example.  At that moment, he didn’t need me to carry all the weight of his problem, he didn’t need me to fix it or make it better, he didn’t even really need me to lean on, he just needed me to be there standing strong assuring him that he isn’t alone.  So, that’s what I did.  I stopped trying to fix the problem, I stopped trying to cheer him up, I was just me…I listened and told him he was in my prayers, because honestly, that is the only thing I could really do for him.  

I learned that, as a friend, I may be called to carry the load for a struggling friend, I may be asked to be a shoulder to cry on, and I may be asked to simply just be there.   I will strive to be a good pillar in the lives of my friends.