How to be free.....

Romans 6: 3-4

3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized in his death? 4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

This was the daily Bible verse that appeared on my phone this morning thanks to an app called DailyBible.  This verse, in my opinion, was God speaking to me.  You see, I’ve been struggling with a message I heard at Good Friday services last week.  I was lucky enough to be able to attend the Passion City Church services at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater to hear some amazing worship music and the wise words of Louie Giglio.  At one point in the service Louie was going over the things that Jesus took off our shoulders when he was crucified.  Two of those things were not something I had thought about before, Guilt and Shame.  These are two things that I have a lot of.  It was like someone punched me in the stomach.  Jesus took all of my guilt and shame with him to the cross?!  So, why am I still holding on to those toxic emotions?

How dare I keep holding onto the shame and guilt of the events in my life when Jesus died so that I didn’t have to bear the weight of those emotions?  How selfish of me.  It’s not my pain to carry because He’s already carrying it.  He died so that I didn’t have to carry that burden for my whole life. Here’s the problem.  I don’t know how to let it go.  I know I need to let it go, give it to God, finally be free…..but how do I do that?  I don’t know how to get from A to B.  I’m really struggling with this right now and I’m at a loss of what to do.  

I brought it up in small group and in a one on one with a wise friend.  The general advice was to pray for God’s help.  So, that’s what I’m doing and doing it often.  We’re reading ‘Forgotten God’ by Francis Chan and the past weeks chapter was about what we fear when it comes to the Holy Spirit.  I fear not being able to hear the Holy Spirit or not being able to feel the pushes and pulls from Him.  So, when I read the DailyBible verse this morning, I heard Him.  He is speaking to me and I can hear Him.  Slowly but surely I’m stripping off the broken layers so that the true me that God personally made can shine through.  With Him, nothing is impossible.

What Italy taught me about friendship....

I had an epiphany while I was in Italy.  It came about in a strange way, but left an impression on me.  Let me set the scene….I was chatting online with a friend one afternoon. He was upset and down about something, so I tried to help.  I became frustrated because everything I was doing to try to help make him feel better wasn’t working.  I didn’t know what to do, but I could feel his pain and I wanted nothing more than to take it away.  See, I have a bad habit.  I always try to fix things, even when they’re not mine to fix.  I want to make it all roses and lollypops. 

While I was chatting with him, I happened to be going through some pictures from my trip.  I came across one of some beautiful stone pillars-and it hit me.  A friend and a pillar are one in the same.  Let me explain.  A pillar is a symbol of strength.  It holds an enormous amount of weight all while making it look effortless.  Sometimes people use the pillars to lean against when they need a rest, sometimes they just step back and admire them, and sometimes they expect the pillars to hold the weight of an entire building without faltering.  Just like friendship.

I think that I could and should take a lesson on friendship from a pillar.  Take my friend for an example.  At that moment, he didn’t need me to carry all the weight of his problem, he didn’t need me to fix it or make it better, he didn’t even really need me to lean on, he just needed me to be there standing strong assuring him that he isn’t alone.  So, that’s what I did.  I stopped trying to fix the problem, I stopped trying to cheer him up, I was just me…I listened and told him he was in my prayers, because honestly, that is the only thing I could really do for him.  

I learned that, as a friend, I may be called to carry the load for a struggling friend, I may be asked to be a shoulder to cry on, and I may be asked to simply just be there.   I will strive to be a good pillar in the lives of my friends.