Change. Some of you reading this just cringed at the mere sight of the word. Why is the concept of change so frightening? Why do people avoid it? Why does it cause stress and anxiety to a majority of people? In my opinion, change is the hardest when it is an internal change that needs to be made. That means that you are the only one in control of that change, which takes a lot of courage. When a policy changes at work, someone else is usually driving it, you just need to adapt. However, when the change that needs to happen is YOU, it can be a hard pill to swallow because it means you aren’t perfect after all and that you could actually use some improvement.
After a lot of prayer, reading, and self-reflection, I realized that I am not as great as I thought I was. I am a terrible communicator. Like, really terrible. I struggle with many areas of communication, and like a lot of women, I assume things. I have learned that as a general rule, when I assume something-it’s usually wrong. Not just a little wrong either, it’s a lot wrong-off the charts wrong. Only, when I’m in the middle of that assumption, it’s real and I have an emotional reaction to this made up scenario in my head. What does that lead to? Problems. Unfortunately, this is just the tip of my iceberg of communication problems.
So, I came to a crossroads when I turned the mirror on myself. I have 2 choices. Put in the hard work and hopefully see results and benefits or do nothing and continue to make others and myself unhappy. I make it sound easy, but it really isn’t. You see, admitting that I need to change means that I admit that something is wrong with me, not everyone else, me. That is really hard to do. We all want to think of ourselves and better than average examples of what a human being should act like. That we’ve got it all together and that we’re doing pretty darn good at this life stuff. When, in reality, that is far from the truth.
I am willing to put in the work to improve myself. I am not above admitting that I am far from perfect and that I suck at something. I may even need help or fall back or hit rough patches in my journey to better communication. That’s ok too. I’m expecting it and I’m ready for it. Humility is my friend right now. If life has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I’m resilient, I don’t give up, and I expect the best-especially of myself. So I am confident that I will change and that it’s not going to be as frightening as I thought it would be.
If you turned the mirror on yourself, what will you see? Is there an area where you know you need to improve? What’s stopping you?
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