In Christ Alone

In Christ Alone. Powerful words spoken by Pastor Ryan Britt as he addressed a bunch of single adults this past weekend. They really resonated with me for some reason. As many of you know, a relationship with the Lord is new to me. I was exposed to church as a child, but not taught how to have a personal relationship with the One who created me. I think that my view on God and what it means to be in a relationship with Him is fresh, clean, untarnished by years of good intentioned misguiding. Maybe that is why 'In Christ Alone' hit home.

I am constantly impressed that God sought me out. He came to find me and pursed me until I couldn't ignore His call anymore. It baffles me to this day. Why did He want me? Why did He get so loud in His pursuit? Why did He try so hard? I hadn't done much to make Him proud in my life. I had turned my back on Him more times than I could count without even knowing it. His grace, faithfulness, and unending mercy blows my mind. I don't deserve it. None of us do.

So, what does 'In Christ Alone' really mean to me? I think Ryan Britt was able to articulate what I have felt since I gave my heart to Christ. I have a great job that I am successful at. I get to work in a field I love, encourage people, think and be challenged daily. Why? Because God allows it. I was able to quit smoking cold turkey after 12 years of addiction. How? Because I prayed and God answered. I was able to walk out of a challenging past into a peaceful and hopeful future, how? Because God loves me. Nothing I do is of me. Nothing. Everything that I am, think, do, feel, experience and accomplish is from Him.

It is not my life. It is a gift of time from the Lord. A gift to treasure and not take for granted. I don't do what I do to because I want to be good to go to heaven. I couldn't do enough good with my time here to even come close to earning at ticket into heaven. None of us can. But, I will spend my life thanking God for His undeserving gifts in my life. I will try everyday to be even slightly worthy of His affections. I cannot even begin to understand the love He has for all of us, even those far from Him. I'm just in awe. In Christ Alone all things are possible. Thank you God.

Mirror, Mirror.....

Change.  Some of you reading this just cringed at the mere sight of the word.  Why is the concept of change so frightening?  Why do people avoid it?  Why does it cause stress and anxiety to a majority of people?  In my opinion, change is the hardest when it is an internal change that needs to be made.  That means that you are the only one in control of that change, which takes a lot of courage.  When a policy changes at work, someone else is usually driving it, you just need to adapt.  However, when the change that needs to happen is YOU, it can be a hard pill to swallow because it means you aren’t perfect after all and that you could actually use some improvement.

After a lot of prayer, reading, and self-reflection, I realized that I am not as great as I thought I was.  I am a terrible communicator.  Like, really terrible.  I struggle with many areas of communication, and like a lot of women, I assume things.  I have learned that as a general rule, when I assume something-it’s usually wrong.  Not just a little wrong either, it’s a lot wrong-off the charts wrong.  Only, when I’m in the middle of that assumption, it’s real and I have an emotional reaction to this made up scenario in my head.  What does that lead to?  Problems.   Unfortunately, this is just the tip of my iceberg of communication problems.

So, I came to a crossroads when I turned the mirror on myself.  I have 2 choices.  Put in the hard work and hopefully see results and benefits or do nothing and continue to make others and myself unhappy.  I make it sound easy, but it really isn’t.  You see, admitting that I need to change means that I admit that something is wrong with me, not everyone else, me.   That is really hard to do.  We all want to think of ourselves and better than average examples of what a human being should act like.  That we’ve got it all together and that we’re doing pretty darn good at this life stuff.  When, in reality, that is far from the truth.

I am willing to put in the work to improve myself.  I am not above admitting that I am far from perfect and that I suck at something.  I may even need help or fall back or hit rough patches in my journey to better communication.  That’s ok too.  I’m expecting it and I’m ready for it.  Humility is my friend right now.  If life has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I’m resilient, I don’t give up, and I expect the best-especially of myself.  So I am confident that I will change and that it’s not going to be as frightening as I thought it would be.

If you turned the mirror on yourself, what will you see?  Is there an area where you know you need to improve?  What’s stopping you?